Hi to you all! Don't know how many days it might take to write this and get it sent, but I guess if you are reading it, well then I finished it!:)

The last few days the garden has been producing a lot of food for us to eat. It is fun to see the children's excitement to see things grow, and they often want to pick something

before it is as big as it should be. They were impressed with the amount of beans we got at the first picking. Four 5-gallon buckets...after giving two different people beans for their supper, we put 24 quart in the freezer. Well, it wasn't that easy! We spent all afternoon and evening snapping beans! I usually can them, but this seemed much faster. I'll can some of the later beans. These were so young and tender...

        Now I  am back to this letter after a very full weekend. Our suburban shows that we have been to a few gatherings!  It needs cleaned out very badly. Extra clothes we've hauled along, maybe dirty dishes we missed bringing in? And shoes! Not to mention socks that should be in todays laundry. Am I depressing you? Sorry! Or maybe you are smiling cause you can relate!

        Monday morning I knew the beans couldn't wait any longer. I'd put it off for a week! Not the young beans we had before, but still not too old. Now with the hot weather this week, I probably won't get away with doing that again... Mom helped so much with picking, snapping and helping me get the pressure canner going. Then she needed to be getting home, so it was good for me to have to relearn how to use the thing!

        Yesterday was a very hot day; Marnita and her children were here, and we tried to keep the younger children esp. inside some, but even Bradyn kept slipping out side!

They waited impatiently till we gave them permission to get into the pool. We had a yummy lunch with haystacks (mostly what Marnita had brought) and the sweet corn they'd picked up on the way here. It was a good day together... we need to take our chance to do things like this before we are both trying to do school. It was the most relaxing thing I could imagine to sit down in a soft chair and hold Alanna and breathe in her sweet new baby scent. Maybe I should remember to lotion my 18 month old!  :)

        Today we are expecting some rain or a thunderstorm. Can I skip watering my flowers this morning? It is a good motivation to get out and get some fresh air first thing in the morning. I can let the animal care up to the children, but to be nice, I once in a while do that for them too. (mostly in bitterly cold weather, when there are no flowers to water of course.)

          This is what I wrote in a e-mail to a friend after she brought our family a meal last week.

At this point I am not through the miscarriage yet...is it toward the end...am I still in the middle; or even at the beginning!

Who knows? It can all be very unpredictable. I am not feeling bad for how much I am bleeding; heavier the last two days.

I am resting in the fact that God has a plan for which children we get to enjoy here, and which ones we get to enjoy in eternity.

Jason is disappointed and sad. I told him I would have kept this baby for him if I could've. He assured me that he isn't blaming me in any way: I already knew that . I was trying to acknowledge that I understand that it is his loss, too. I think we both think of this one as our " March" baby.

Venesa is in Jan. Bradyn in Feb. This one was due in March.

 

This morning I am feeling like staying in bed, but I knew there was a family letter waiting for me to read. Also, I like to be out of bed before the children are if I can! 

For those of you that don't know, I was in the sixth week of this pregnancy when I began to bleed. The first day I had a head ache and felt bad all over my body, so I was laying around some, and later in the morning I saw spotting (I was very surprised, maybe because there wasn't any cramping) but I wasn't going to consider it a problem unless there was more. But it pretty quickly turned into more through out the day. I am now at the 13th day of bleeding, not much sign of stopping yet. I had about 3 days of esp. heavy, and the days since then are more like the heaviest day of a period. Seemed to me like I have had enough now for how far along I was. (early miscarriage)

I finally gave my midwife a call last evening. She had some good advice; told me to make sure I am drinking enough. I admitted that it has been hard to stay hydrated.

I am so thirsty, even during the night, and I get myself a good cup of water a few times a night. Other times I lay there, not wanting to get up, but so thirsty I finally do anyway. It is about time to make sure to put a water bottle on my lovely book case head board. My midwife thought I seem to be doing ok and that it should be stopping soon.

I know it is quite normal to take awhile to get through it, but that has not been my experience before at all. She was not concerned about the lack of cramping( I have some, just not much for the amount of bleeding) In fact, a lot of  cramping might mean your body needs help to expel the rest. I am grateful if  I don't need any of that!

I might feel discouraged if I have to run to the store for more pads, for the third time...

           Wow! That bite of pancake was loaded with nutmeg flavor! I made the baked pancake that you slice into pieces, since I am serving breakfast late, it is less time in the kitchen and more time at the key board. Now I am checking, are these keys sticky at all?! Thought it might be good to notice that before Jason does, if they are! :)

This time I made the pancakes with almond milk. Eric has been drinking only that milk for several weeks, and I am sad to say, we have seen no improvement at all in his rash. It had suddenly made sense to me that his problem might be a milk allergy, so we are trying to work with that. The only time his skin was totally rash free was the year we were on goat's milk. I had enough to cook with, too. Now goat's milk is not so readily available, so I haven't tried that yet. It is hard to know when to give up on something and try something else. Actually, I want to give up all together, but his rash on his legs is bad enough that I can't let it go without trying something. I am so glad it is not where people can see it most of the time. He hasn't been dairy free, although I am trying my best to reduce it! There is always cheese that slips in somewhere....and the time before when I made pancakes with a whole lot of milk. Or the strawberry smoothie...the list goes on! Thank God, he likes his almond milk just fine.

             The ordination ( June 29 ) was a special evening, although the weeks leading up to it were very hard. We talked things out at some points till there was really no more to talk about. Some times you feel like you keep praying the same things over and over. Although I had a peace about Jason taking the step if he was feeling called, it was one of the loneliest things I have ever had to face! I told God what I felt I needed, and he seemed to say in response that He was meant to be my all in all and supply all my needs. There was a lot of disappointments along the way, but our plans and ideas are not often the same as God's. Surrender is always painful, and God some times waits to reveal his plan till we are ready to give up and let go!  The service was at East Union, and  Fred Perkins did a great job of handling an ordination of an elder and deacon. I got to sit through the whole service. When does that ever happen!? Thanks to mom who had Bradyn, and had to be in the nursery with him. :(  Venesa was with Jessalin some of the service, too.

              Our church picnic was last Sat. and it rained off and on throughout the day. Most of the time it was so light, the children stayed on the playground, and the older ones on the ball field. I had a game for the children that involved popping balloons...always fun!  I chose 5 different Bible stories and typed out around 10 events in the story. Each of the happenings in the story were folded and put inside a balloon, then we inflated them. We got some help at the picnic, since we decided that it was way easier to haul along a little bag of flat balloons and the papers, then having them all blown up! Our vehicle was already packed full. The game was to give each child a balloon from the bag and let them pop them, get the paper that was inside and work together to put the story in the right order. They were excited to find out which story they were doing (revealed by popping the balloon with a letter written on it.) Then they were excited to get to the next bag full of new balloons to pop.

I didn't help much with cleanup at the end of that long day. I was pretty light headed, and there were others that could do what needed done. Bless their hearts!

             We cancelled Ciara's dentist app. last week, and going to Shady Lawn today. I can't really cancel Ciara's 7th birthday coming up. At least I have a gift for her that I'd gotten over a month ago. She of course, has glowing plans, and I told her I hope I feel better by then! She wants an angel theme, so that will include a cake from Shady View, one of their delicious several fruit flavored angel food cakes. We had one a long time ago!

            Eric was needing help with his work book. I enjoyed the way his face lit up when he realized he knew the answers. He is on the H book from the ones they have at Little Country Store. Jennika was outside with Venesa and Bradyn. They were picking and eating peas. Ciara was washing dishes, but didn't rinse them too like I had made sure I asked her to. I know better than to wait to ask them to do a chore till they get into trouble, so it is my fault sometimes that their attitude isn't very good. In other words, not using chores as a punishment, but a daily goal to help each other as a family. I gave Ryan a space of a few hours in the afternoon that he is allowed to listen to story tapes. I was tired of a story being on and not being able to get even the girls to get around in the morning. Getting dressed for the day, beds need made, animals fed, breakfast eaten; it was bad for morning routine! I told Jason that I like when he tells me of things Ryan can work at during the day. Fixing something like filling in the drive way with extra gravel after a wash out, for example.  It helps give purpose to his day.

              Bradyn and Venesa play together so much now. One time they were following me across a drive way. He fell down; I didn't see it, but heard her say,"You ok, Brady?"  Then she said to me, "Mom, Brady is ok." I laughed...I love how she looks out for him!  They are also fighting more than ever, and too bad he discovered that biting her is a good way to get her back every time! He is finding out that the satisfaction is very short lived though. Hope we can stop it before it gets to be a big issue.

Bradyn's chubby little arms are so brown and tanned from hours in the summer sun. Ciara and Eric have sun bleached blonde hair.

              I am finding Eric's constant desire to do 'something fun!' more than a little tiring. He told mom the other day that there are two fun things to do....playing on the computer and fishing! Two things he doesn't get to do very much...What a relief when he likes my suggestions. I love to here him pray for Ziva, that her feet get healed. (Come back to that later!)

              Ciara and Jennika have many of the same friends. It is very helpful when Jen's friends are willing to include Ciara also. I think Ciara is more of a 'people person', so friends are a very important part of her life. The other day Ciara labored over some library books, trying to read Eric the stories. It was slow reading, and did I hear Eric complain about it making him tired? He probably needed a nap.  :) So glad she was getting some practice. I should read with her and to her a lot more than I do.

Jennika is a good kitchen floor sweeper! I think she is starting to like the look of a clean floor. She is learning more about preparing food, too. Some times I will ask one of the children if they can try to plan what we will have for the next meal. They will most likely open the pantry and suggest corn bread; they see the easy to prepare corn muffin mix. Eric has a real interest in helping in the kitchen. Some times it is hard to think of ways to help besides using a sharp knife. Often there is stirring that they can do, or measuring and spilling, uh, I mean pouring!  :)

               Ryan will soon be as tall as his mom. The other night we bucked heads, literally! I had told him to go out and start mowing, and I thought he was going to head out to the garage,but I guess he followed behind me to the patio door. I turned around too quickly and felt awful pain in my head. We had knocked our heads so hard it was unreal! I felt bad for hurting him but he seemed not injured as much some how. He went out to mow and I collapsed in the recliner for a while. I told him later that he has a very hard head! He grinned and shot back, "So do you!"  One of his favorite things to do is target practise with his bb gun. He was given a neat target for his birthday.

Jerry is doing high school now and will be learning to drive soon. It makes their age difference stand out, but they still get along as great as ever.

The children have their own garden this year close to their 'secret hideout'.  Without a fence around it, the rabbits chewed down some stuff, but it has come back now again. When they want to go in the pool, I often tell them to get dressed for the pool and then go pull weeds in their garden for awhile, and when they get hot they can jump in.

            My letter is getting so long and I didn't write about our July 3 trip to the zoo or going to the Cheo Home school convention! If I want to make it short, the zoo is where we lost Eric, and Cheo is where I lost my snuggli baby sling that I used all these years! The most important by far (no comparison!) of the two was found. We found our dear 4 year old who was crying and kept saying over and over,(to the zoo helper) "I was with my family!"

              Can I share with you a high light of our year so far? Through contact with Ruby who is over in Indonesia, we were able to help a 4 year old Indonesian girl who has club feet. We heard about her last summer, but a few months ago Ruby e-mailed and let us know what was happening...they had made contact with a doctor over there who does the ponsetti method, same as we had for Eric. We found out how much money the family had to come up with before any treatment could begin. That is where we were able to help...although we were out of money at the time! The church had decided a little before this to reimburse us for something that we'd put a lot of money toward. When Jason and I remembered that, there was no doubt in our mind that every bit of that money was waiting for this family in need. We were so blessed that God gave us a way to share, because it was our heart's desire to be able to do something like this the last few years!! God looks out for us! We were so excited to see the picture of Ziva in her first set of casts. We know there is a long, tiring journey ahead, but also totally rewarding and worth it! We also hope that through this her parents hearts will turn to God...they seem to be searching, and their hearts are open. You can join us in prayer for this family on the other side of the world.

              So, you get to read a long letter because I don't have much energy today to do my house work or the relish I intend to make...maybe tomorrow. I enjoyed writing though...writing is great therapy, just as working in the garden is for me.